Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
