Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
