Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
