It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
