i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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