on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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