Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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