Cold hands, warm shart.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
