Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize