Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
