She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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