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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.

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• (742): View more from

  All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Again, totally unrelated

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The most literal cowgirl position ever.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral

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• (518): View more from New York

  Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere

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