Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.