Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.