Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
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How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza