If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
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We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?