Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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