It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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