Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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