Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
