I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
