Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
