her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
