Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
