We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
