wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
