Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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