After last night, I could never be a politician.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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