new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
