dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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