you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The air was thick with penises
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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