You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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