If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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