How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
