i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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