last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
