I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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