Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
