it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
