My first STD was from a foam party
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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