We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
