you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
