Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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