you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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