He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
