four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
