I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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