the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
