Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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