Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
