I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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