i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
