Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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