I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I want to fling myself into the sun
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
