office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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