I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Me too!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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