You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
