She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
